The LoCo Experience

EXPERIENCE 242 | Rapid Transformational Therapist Rebecca Archuletta on Grief, Neuroplasticity, and Overcoming Hidden Traumas

• Ava Munos • Season 5 • Episode 242

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My guest on today’s podcast was Rebecca Archuletta, Rapid Transformational Therapist and Founder of Because You Matter - Healing By Rebecca.  

Rebecca’s journey is informed by grief, with multiple suicides in her sibling group and extended family, a career rise and fall and rejuvenation - and powered by intentional education.  Her methodology combines hypnosis with other modalities to rewire and break through long  standing barriers to healing, and she shares abundantly how to identify, process, and move past.  

Rebecca shares her authentic journey and more recent experience in transformational healing - and I know you’ll enjoy, as I did, my conversation with Rebecca Archuletta.  

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Music By: A Brother's Fountain

Speaker 5:

My guest on today's podcast was Rebecca Archuleta Rapid transformational therapist and founder of, because You Matter Healing by Rebecca. Rebecca's journey is informed by grief with multiple suicides in her sibling group and extended family, a career rise and fall and rejuvenation. And powered by intentional education. Her methodology combines hypnosis with other modalities to rewire and break through longstanding barriers to healing, and she shares abundantly how to identify process and move past. Rebecca shares her authentic journey and more recent experience in transformational healing, and I know you'll enjoy as I did my conversation with Rebecca Arch.

Speaker:

Welcome back to the Loco Experience Podcast. My guest today is Rebecca Archuleta and she is a rapid transformational therapist and the founder of, because You Matter Healing by Rebecca.

Speaker 2:

Hello everybody.

Speaker:

Thanks for being here. They're not listening live, so they can't really respond in any fashion, so

Speaker 2:

that's okay. But

Speaker:

thanks for spending time here. I'm glad you're excited to be on the local experience.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. It's, it's a cool vibe in here. I love. This is great. Yes,

Speaker:

you did decline my offer of, uh, some locally grown, uh, marijuana joint that sits in my dinosaur.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I declined all that. I'm just doing water. Just

Speaker:

water. Flat water.

Speaker 2:

Just flat water.

Speaker:

Yeah. I've got, uh, raspberry lime bubble water. So if I get burpee later, uh, we'll know why. You'll know why. Exactly.

Speaker 2:

That's good to know.

Speaker:

So, um, I guess let's start with, uh, a little bit of definition of terms. Um, what's a rapid transformational therapist?

Speaker 2:

That's a mouthful, isn't it? Yeah,

Speaker:

yeah. Well, and I understand kind of the, the logic, uh, and it's a little bit contrary. Like if I'm a therapist in today's world, like I just want. Long-term clients, uh, you know, once a week for weeks and weeks and weeks is perfect.

Speaker 2:

And I'm just the opposite. I used to be a traditional counselor. Okay. I was a cognitive behavioral therapist back in the day. I had my degree, a psychology degree out of University of Wyoming, and I worked with kids and teens and I worked with them, you know, for months, you know, a long time. Yeah. And they all graduated outta the program, but there was a couple of'em. I didn't think I got to the root cause of it, and now I probably didn't because the only way to do that is through your subconscious mind. Okay. So, and I decided to go back in the wellness field. I went back to school to be a certified rapid transformational therapist. And so the beautiful part of that is it's a combination of different modalities. So it's a combination of psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, NLP, and cognitive behavioral therapy all wrapped into one

Speaker:

NLP being

Speaker 2:

neurolinguistic programming.

Speaker:

Okay. Yep. It's like a, if I tell myself I, I think I can, I'm smart, people like me.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker:

Then, then it comes true. Right. Eventually

Speaker 2:

just like, you know, Henry Ford, if you think you can or think you can't. Yeah. You're right.

Speaker:

Yeah, exactly. One of my favorite quotes

Speaker 2:

actually. Absolutely.

Speaker:

So, uh, so instead of kind of a a, a single tiered approach to Mm. Behavioral therapy, if you will, or whatever you're struggling with, whether it's relationships or depression or whatever, you're, you're trying to take a multi-pronged approach with, with every, with, with all of your clients. Do you hit'em with absolutely. All the barrels kind of, is that what you're talking about? Oh, all the barrels.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Okay. And so instead of seeing somebody, you know, for months and weeks and years, I see them, majority of them, one to three sessions. And the beautiful part is the, I have a really detailed questionnaire that I give them first.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Which helps me learn about them specifically.'cause every client is unique and individual, so I treat them all individual. There's no cookie cut anything with what I do. And so after the, the questionnaire, which also tells me what they're looking for. So if they come to me for anxiety, then I ask them specific questions and like the key thing is what did they want their life to be like without the anxiety? So that's the most, that's the sweet sauce, right? Because whatever they put in what they want their life to be like. So here

Speaker:

it's not like, not thinking about the habits you're trying to get rid of. It's really more about replacing them with the good stuff. Yeah. What do, what do you want your life? Imagine that first.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So it's, there's no limits. Sky's the limit. They can just do whatever they want. So whatever they ask for that in addition to what comes out of the session is what I put in their personal recording. So after the two hour session, which they're under hypnosis throughout the two hours and they're talking the entire time. Okay. I'm just guiding them through, are they conscious? They're, no, they're in hypnosis, but they're still talking. They're interacting the whole time. Okay. Yeah. And they're a hundred percent in control, so if they wanna come out of it, they just open their eyes.

Speaker 3:

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2:

They're a hundred percent in control. Okay. And so I just guide them through three scenes when they were anxious, wherever it starts, and usually we'll start whatever they think it is and then it, your subconscious mind goes to something totally different.

Speaker 4:

Hmm. Because

Speaker 2:

it's buried it. The, your brain's number one job is to protect you. So it buries it deep.

Speaker:

But that's ultimately what hypnosis is, is kind of a more direct access to the subconscious mind in some ways. Absolutely. Is that right? Yeah. So Exactly. So you're kind of having a conversation with this subconscious mind. Absolutely. With the person's agreement. Yes. Right. Like they can get the right to tap out at any time.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker:

Um, are people that easy to hypnotize.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Really? Absolutely. I've been so blessed. I haven't had anybody had an issue with it.

Speaker:

Really?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Knock on wood now.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

They've all, they've all gone under and some of them struggle a little bit. I just, you know, do something where it's a happy scene to begin with.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And then they just kind of like, let, let their guard down and just relax into it. Because who wants, who doesn't wanna hear a happy scene? Right. Yeah. A lot of times it's childhood or, you know, when they're, you know, their first child was born or something to that significance. Yeah. They're like so excited and they're, they usually actually sense cry because they're happy tears and they haven't thought about the happy scene for so long and they're like, oh my gosh. And when they go back to it, they literally see it like they're experiencing like a computer screen. Like they get to see everything that's happening, all the people. Okay. All the feel goods in it, that kind of thing. So,

Speaker:

and then are you also like exploring the trauma in that same. Session. Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So what we do is we go back to whatever is the trigger of their issue, let's say like, and their subconscious nose, even if subconscious, they haven't

Speaker:

really brought it up to the surface. Exactly. It's buried. So you're probably uncovering like young age abuse and things like that sometimes, or fat shaming but never explored or like a lot of these really hidden like is that, do people know what's.

Speaker 2:

Not necessarily

Speaker:

their problem, their stumbling block is when they come to see you or is that kind of the problem? They haven't been able to figure that out.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. That's why they come to me because they've gone through the traditional counseling, they've done, for example, EMDR, Reiki, all the things, and it's still not moving. There's still something missing. There's still something wrong. And so with the subconscious mind, which is basically it's a catalog of what happens to us from the moment we're conceived to the moment we die. And so in hypnosis, we can actually go back, subconscious mind will go right back to the three scenes have the most significant of what's their trouble. And then together with the client, we, we figure out what that is. And it's usually anywhere from zero. Like they're still in the womb to seven years old. So it's child childhood for sure.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Um, and in some cases, the trauma they took on their mom's trauma while they were still in the womb. Okay. Then they were born with it. Which is bizarre because people think, how could a child remember that? But they can. It's like if the

Speaker:

mom was abused. Mm-hmm. By her spouse especially, or something like that. Or,

Speaker 2:

yes. We had one situation. It wasn't my client, it was actually Marissa Pier, the founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy. She had a client where he could not be around music drums, he just would freak out if he heard drums. And his fiance was in, you know, the New York orchestra. And so she really wanted him to see her perform and he couldn't do it'cause the drums. And so he went to Marissa to get ized to figure out what it was. And it was just mind blowing.'cause he was in the womb, his mom was being chased. Um, they were in Africa at the time. And so she hid underneath the sink. Behind all this stuff to protect her and her baby. And the, her heartbeat was so predominant that it sounds like drums to him. And so once he figured that out with Marissa's guidance and help, they cleared all that out. Once he got outta the session, he talked to his mom, she was still alive and said, mom, is this, does this happen? Hmm. And mom said, how did you know that you weren't even born yet? And that's confirmed it, that's what it was. The heartbeat sounds like drums to him. And so once he figured that out, working with Marissa through hypnosis and the techniques that we use, they're able to clear that out. And so now he knows drums are just drums had nothing to do. So he was able to detach that association Interesting. And be able to go see his fiance perform.

Speaker:

So who are your clients? Uh, not specifically of, I imagine you're supposed to have confidentiality around stuff of that. Of course. If they have any famous ones that have said it's okay, let me know. But like, um. Like, what are they trying to accomplish? Uh, do you, maybe you don't have really a demographic.

Speaker 2:

So I have, I don't have a specific niche because everyone wants you to, to niche down, right? Yeah. But I'm not gonna deny somebody if I can help. Well, but you

Speaker:

kind of define your niche as people that have tried to do stuff and it hasn't really worked.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. So like, my client is, they've done all the things and they still, there's still something there.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So that in a sense, my ideal client. So for me, uh, I would say my specialty is, so therapists out

Speaker:

there listening, if you've got these tough cases that you're not making progress on, um, maybe you should just refer'em to Rebecca.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And I work a lot with people who are currently seeing therapists. Yeah. Well, I assume they can't get to even for,

Speaker:

even for, even for all of us, it's okay to talk to somebody once in a while. Absolutely. You know, it's like part of why like. Churches and small groups occurred and villages would have, you know, different things. But it is good to be in community and talk through stuff and, and for a lot of people that has become therapy on a regular basis. Right. Even though it's just kinda a once a month, uh, maintenance check.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker:

Um, but that isn't your business model. Like if you get somebody passed those major challenges, they may still want to visit a counselor once a month or once a quarter or something like that anyway.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And so people who are seeing counselors and they're just still stuck, they can't figure out what it is, then they can come see me as a, as a complimentary. Kind of therapist, right? Yeah. So I compliment what the, the counselors are currently doing to get to the root cause of it, because you'll never get to it in talk therapy. You have to go to the subconscious mind because it's very deep to protect you. Yeah. So once we uncover that, then the client knows what it is, the reason behind it, and they can go back to their counselor and then they can continue on that kind of thing. And if they get stuck again Yeah, then they can come back to me and then figure out what's the next thing. Because once you open that door, then you wanna keep going. Right.

Speaker:

I was just reflecting, sorry to interrupt, but on your industry over the last probably 50 years or so, because you know it go the, uh, psychia psychiatry, right? Kind of goes back to Freud and stuff, and that examination of the subconscious as being kind of the. Main driver of everything. Mm-hmm. And then Freud got kind of on the, out socially, culturally for various reasons and stuff, and, and psychiatrists could prescribe drugs.

Speaker 4:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

And it turns out pharmaceutical companies are really good at prescribing or creating drugs that take the edge off and stuff. And so the field of psychiatry has really shifted from being an examination and an unfolding of the unconscious

Speaker 4:

mm-hmm.

Speaker:

To the ability to prescribe drugs. Right. Is that not, is that accurate? It feels like it is. From an outsider looking in, there are those that

Speaker 2:

do that. I don't do any of prescribing of drugs. Mine's all just mind doing it. All Mind shift. Yeah. Because you know when through hypnosis, the beautiful part is the two hour session. So I have the client come in, we do the two hour session, we clear out the limiting. Beliefs, you know, the untruths, a lot of it's from, you know, childhood where they took on from their parents or their caregivers or coaches or what have you. We clear that out. We put good things in, and a lot of that's from the questionnaire, what they want their life to be like. And then in addition to what I discover in the session, then I add to that. And so then I create the personalized audio. And the secret sauce of all this is they listen to it for 21 nights while they're sleeping. And the reason we wanna do it while they're sleeping is because the subconscious mind is a hundred percent going.

Speaker:

This is my tape of myself saying, you're smart enough, you're tall enough, your beard looks fabulous. Right.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Kurt, you go there,

Speaker:

but I mean, that's kind of the neuro-linguistic programming that you talked about earlier.

Speaker 2:

Yes. And mine's a lot more in depth than that, but go for it. If that works for you, you keep going.

Speaker:

I have worse problems than how good my beard looks around perception of there's thoughts on my beard.

Speaker 2:

So we, we do some really a lot of good actions, right? So a lot of how do we talk to ourselves with, you know, love, kindness, respect, you know, what are our action steps? So if they are, you know, getting rid of their smoker, we're no longer smoking instead of smoking, we figure out in the session what is it? What causes it, what's the purpose of smoking? It's fulfilling something. And so we get rid of that and we put something good in instead. Yeah. So instead of smoking, we're gonna give them other things to do instead of smoking. Right? And so we put all the good stuff in there and they listen to it for 21 nights while they're sleeping. And the reason we do that,'cause then the subconscious mind's creating new neuropathways in the brain. So that becomes what's familiar. And then they automatically just do that. And the beautiful part is, some people it's immediate, some people it's retroactive, and some people it's gradual. So everybody's different. Yeah. And depending on what it is, that's what I was

Speaker:

thinking earlier. The cynic in me was like, you know, change is good and change is hard and sometimes slow. And that's kind of a little bit contrary to what you're saying. Mm-hmm. Um, and like I've kind of studied a lot and read a lot of books about this neuroplasticity and the subconscious and stuff like that. So I got a little, you know, I, I've got a little bit of, uh, but it sounds almost too good to be true, especially for somebody that would be like, you know, I've been seeing this therapist for four months and we're just still kinda where I was, or I've been, you know, I'm a 10 time loser on quitting smoking. Right. Or whatever. Um, it's serving

Speaker 2:

a purpose. And so through talk therapy, you're not gonna realize what that purpose is, right? Your subconscious mind's gonna buried deep because it's serving a purpose. So what I do as a hypnotherapist is I, you know, rapid transformational therapist. I go through there and I figure out what that is, and then we put good stuff in instead. Right? So we figure out, why are you smoking? You know, I have, you know, I had a client that came in, older, uh, woman. She had gone to all these specialists. She had this rash on her face, okay? Could not figure out what is it?'cause medically there was no reason for it. She'd even gone through surgeries, just craziness, trying to get rid of this, okay? And it wasn't going away. And so through hypnosis, we figured out what it was. And it was, you know, this is a woman in her sixties, her sons, when they were, you know. Seven and five were sexually abused by a family member. When they, the parents were off on a business trip being taken care of by family members, they thought were safe. Unfortunately, there was somebody that was not safe. And luckily, you know, by the, you know, the second, third time one of the sons told the parents what happened. Right. And they immediately don't wanna stay with

Speaker:

aunt. Yeah. We don't wanna stay with this person. Not probably Uncle Mark or whatever, or grandpa, whatever.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And so the parents reacted immediately. Okay. You know, they took control of that. You know, they had a conversation with this person and the children would never saw that person again. And so they definitely me, right? They put them in, you know, counseling and that kind of thing immediately. And so the mom, even though she, her and her husband reacted positively, took care of the sons. All of the things she took on responsibility and all that guilt and shame that she took on from that. And now, you know, the sons are at thirties that manifested

Speaker:

in this like physical cheek rash.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So that rash was her,

Speaker:

like the burning of embarrassment almost of shame. It was just, you know, the issues

Speaker 2:

are in our tissues. Yeah. And it's gonna come out however it wants to come out. And so once we uncovered that, she was like, oh my gosh, that makes total sense.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And so once we discovered that and she had gone through, you know, the 21 nights of listening to it, reprogrammed, all that kind of thing, you know, I, not too long ago, self grace,

Speaker:

ultimate.

Speaker 2:

She was amazing. Her skin is beautiful. She doesn't have the issues anymore. She's sleeping through the night easily, effortlessly, and she doesn't have the rash anymore and she, I saw her not too long ago and she saw me and she ran up and gave me a big old hug, and she's like, look at my skin. It's beautiful. And it's just amazing what our brain does. You know, it's to protect us or,'cause she hadn't dealt with that herself.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, forgiven herself.

Speaker:

Sure. All

Speaker 2:

those type of things. Yeah. She

Speaker:

felt like nothing really happened to me. What do I need to, even, even even seeing a talk therapist, which may or may not have got to that root cause it didn't, anyway. Oh, she did. So she was investing in that. She just, she

Speaker 2:

had done all the things Right. I mean, to extremes. And it still

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Wasn't helping, probably

Speaker:

in her case, probably a lot of physical doctors too. Different. Absolutely. Chinese medicine and doctors. All the cream and potions and all kinds of stuff and

Speaker 2:

nothing was helping. And so once we got to that root cause of it, and this was, you know, like 30 years after this happened just about. And so it's like, oh my gosh, you've had this this entire time.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, and our literally, our body holds it, our issues are in our tissues. So until we find out what that is and clear it out and do the work, it's still gonna be there.

Speaker:

So who. How do I say it? Like, I started asking about kind of niching a little bit of who your clients ultimately are and stuff. And I, and I wondered to myself as you were describing this person, is it, is it more females than males? Like Oh, no, no more, more males even, or, I have, it's a split.

Speaker 2:

I have hard to predict. I have both, um, age

Speaker:

range.

Speaker 2:

Does it matter? Matter? I mean, from eight years old to eighties, I've had all of them come to the door. Right. And so, um, especially for men, but for me, I, I really love to see the men come in because usually when they do, you know, they needed a therapist before, right? Like they are on dire straits. Like, I need your help now. Right. Like yesterday kind of thing. Right. And so, and I, if

Speaker:

they're coming for help, it's past time they came for help. Oh my

Speaker 2:

gosh. Yeah. So if you're a male and you're struggling, don't wait. Like, come and get help right away because there's no reason to suffer. And the bravest thing you can do is to ask for help. Yeah.

Speaker:

But there's still, oftentimes they've been to these traditional sources and things like that and not, um, what, like are there others that practice your craft? Um, there absolutely is. There's a

Speaker 2:

lot of specialists and especially in Northern Colorado. Okay. You know, I have a lot of peers that we refer each other's clients to. Yeah. Because they're specialties. Like,

Speaker:

oh, so some might be a specialist in weight loss or smoking cessation or different things like that too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like a medical, you know, they focus on medical, they focus on, you know, addictions. Yeah. You know, they focus on whatever. And all of us technically can do all of the things, but first specialist and we know that from each other. Yeah. If we see someone who's really struggling, like, we'll just refer you to that person. So

Speaker:

what would your industry friends send to you in, in past? For me it's the

Speaker 2:

deep trauma. Okay. So like suicide especially. Okay. Um, my story, personally, my story is why I went into this was, um, on the youngest of four and I had three older brothers complete suicide.

Speaker:

Uh, at what age were you? The first one I was in my

Speaker 2:

twenties.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. My oldest brother and, uh, Jeff, he's 10 years older than me and he completed suicide.

Speaker:

It feels like, like sometimes we kind of get to the start of your business and then we jump into the time machine on this podcast, but it feels like in your case, we almost have to. Do it justice by jumping in the time machine and kind of go back to the beginning to make it make a,

Speaker 2:

it makes sense more sense. Is that true? Absolutely. I think so. I mean, I was a traditional counselor first. Yeah. Um, before that happened. And for how, for

Speaker:

how many years? Uh oh, you, so you got outta college. Oh. And then this all happened, I was in

Speaker 2:

college and then actually I, I didn't, I was, you know, getting my, I had my degree and I was going for my master's when everything was just kind of happening and blew up. Wow. So then I, I just stopped. I was like, wow, this is way, way too much. I need to do my own healing first.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

Kind of thing.

Speaker:

Yep. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna, I'm gonna set the stage properly and just like zoom all the way back to. Young, little 5-year-old Rebecca. Um, where's she at?

Speaker 2:

So describe. So 5-year-old. It was fun. Like five years old. You know, I was the youngest of four, only girl Hispanic family. Okay. And life was good. And my grandpa lived there. You got pretty

Speaker:

reddish hair for Hispanic family, but sometimes that carries, we're from Spain. This actual Spanish. Yeah, actual

Speaker 2:

Spanish. So if you go to Spain, you'll see redheads with brown eyes. Yeah. And then blondes with brown eyes. Yes. So you can tell the difference between Spanish or Mexican. We're all Hispanic, you know? Sure. But you can tell the geographics of it. Um, so at five years old, it was great. I mean, my,

Speaker:

and you're, where are you at

Speaker 2:

in Colorado Springs? I was born and raised in Colorado Springs. Okay.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And my grandpa, my mom's dad lived with us. His, uh, wife, my grandma had already passed away. Okay. And so he actually raised me, built in

Speaker:

babysitter as well. He was amazing as well. Yeah. He

Speaker 2:

was like the best babysitter. He was amazing. I just adored him. Grandparents are so important.

Speaker:

My mom's dad, uh, was Grandpa Marvin, and he like mowed our lawn, uh Oh wow. For my younger years. Drove our garden tractor around and stuff. And so much more than that. He, he was like,'cause my dad had a full-time job Right. And was starting a farm evenings and weekends and so just. You know, he, he, he, he was a good dad and there wasn't a lot of him, extra des spare. And so grandpa was that extra, uh, male influence in my life. Uh, so yes, agreed on the grandparents being important.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. It was like my best friend. He was my protector. Yeah. He taught me the ABCs, you know how to tie my shoes. Awesome. You know, he got me ready for school. My mom worked outside of the home. Both my parents did.

Speaker:

Was he fluent English? English? Mm-hmm. It was okay.

Speaker 2:

I mean, they spoke Spanish. The adults, like my grandpa and my parents would speak Spanish. Okay. But they wouldn't teach us as kids because my mom was ridiculed when she was little. Yeah. When she was going to school. Spanish was her first language and when she went to school they made fun of her'cause she wasn't fluent in English.

Speaker:

There was a lot of societal pressure in those days.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker:

Um, yes. In families and whatever. And what was the setting like? Your brothers are all older and how much older?

Speaker 2:

So, um, I'm the baby and so the next brother is Greg. He's four years older than me. The next one is nine. Arnold or Stasio, his friend would call him six years older.

Speaker:

Alright. And

Speaker 2:

then the oldest I are 10 years difference. And that's Jeff.

Speaker:

Okay. Very similar to my family actually. There's uh, also three boys and one girl. I'm the oldest.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker:

In ours, and my youngest brother is 10 years younger.

Speaker 2:

Oh wow.

Speaker:

Okay. Uh, so same kind of spread. And what were your folks like doing? What was the like socioeconomic setting and stuff?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I mean, my mom worked for Hewlett Packard Okay. At the time. Yep. And my dad worked for King Soopers. Yep. He was a butcher. So I'm a butcher's daughter, so I know how to, A good cut of meat. That's

Speaker:

awesome actually. That

Speaker 2:

a good steak.

Speaker:

I love like watching. Really good. Here's where your cuts of meat come from. Videos and how to make it work. Great.

Speaker 2:

I was such a tomboy.'cause my dad would go hunting my brothers and they'd bring, they'd bring it back. The elk, the deer, what have you. Yeah. Yeah. And then we would actually help process it.

Speaker:

You'd make sausage and everything too. Oh

Speaker 2:

yeah. Sausage hamburger. I love it. Bacon jerky.

Speaker:

We had a deer, but. Getting 45 pounds of deer is a lot different than getting 420 pounds of elk meat.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. It's just

Speaker:

a lot, a lot more yield for your effort with a, with an elk.

Speaker 2:

The process was amazing. It took all of us to process it, and then my dad would do it for other hunters too, you know, bring in extra money and stuff. And so, so a very

Speaker:

industrious family, it sounds like. Absolutely. And, uh, and your mom had a pretty decent job with HP or at least pretty good benefits and stuff like that. So you were upper middle class, is it?

Speaker 2:

I would say so,

Speaker:

probably, or, yeah, middle, upper. Anyway, I say middle, you

Speaker 2:

know, and because there were so many of us Right. You know. Right. A lot of mouse to feed. It's a lot of mouse. A lot

Speaker:

teenage boys to feed in the coming years. Absolutely. And, and what was little Rebecca like in, uh, like tomboy? You said? Complete tomboy. A good student, uh.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah. I was the good students with, with all the boys

Speaker:

beating'em in soccer.

Speaker 2:

Well, I had three older brothers. Right. And so they were always in mayhem. Yeah. So my parents were focused on them because they would get in and outta trouble. Right. And so if you stayed

Speaker:

quiet, you could pretty much do whatever you wanted.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So I was like kind of, you know, unseen, unheard. And so my grandpa basically raised me. Mm-hmm. Even though we're all in the same household. Sure. It's like we had different, different parents kind of thing. Sure. And so I was like, you know, a student, I did all the right things, you know, I didn't wanna get in trouble. I figured they had their hands full with my brothers, so I didn't wanna add to it. You're

Speaker:

very responsible, sounds like.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Um.

Speaker:

Any sports activities? Newsletter?

Speaker 2:

I did tennis.

Speaker:

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, in, in high school I was, you know, one of the tennis players and then I did the activities. So I was on student council, uh, women's choir. I would do the multicultural kind of things. Yeah. That kind of thing. So, yeah.

Speaker:

And like were your brothers like getting into trouble with themselves?

Speaker 2:

They would, by that time

Speaker:

they were always in trouble a little bit. But you mentioned that, you know, by the time your early career, they, they, they suicided themselves or whatever and so, so

Speaker 2:

I, yeah. I was in my twenties and so I think, and I didn't realize this until later, but my oldest brother, Jeff, he had actually been trying to complete suicides and he was 19 and I didn't know it went back that far.'cause I had been there through some of them. Right. And I remember that was the one thing I'll never forget because I was the first person at the hospital and when he came through, he saw me and he grabbed my arm and he was so angry. And he grabbed my arm so tight. I thought he was gonna break my arm. And he's like, why won't you let me go? Just let me go.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And he was so frustrated because, you know, someone would find him and they would call right away and they would save him. And he was so frustrated.'cause like, no, I, I just wanna go, like, quit trying to help me.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And, you know, I'll never forget that face. And I remember and making a pact with him, you know, if you do it, then I'm gonna do it. And then unbeknownst to me, my mom also made a pact with him, and then his oldest daughter did. So three of us women made a pact with him. If he did it, we are gonna do it. And then he ultimately still did it anyway.

Speaker:

And hopefully nobody else did it.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker:

In solidarity. No.

Speaker 2:

No, we didn't. You were

Speaker:

trying to prevent him from doing it by, by doing that. He just still couldn't.

Speaker 2:

And he still, I just, you know, and that's the thing, doing what I do now is a rabbi transformational therapist. I know the root cause of that.'cause I actually, you know, I had, you know, dark Knight of the Soul later after your, after they'd all passed. Right. So, and that's, you know, I'm not enough. I'm not worthy. Sure. I'm not lovable. It's not available to me.

Speaker:

If, if I was lovable enough, he would've not done that for me or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Well, all three of them, that's the thing. All three of, when it makes, it makes sense because when they did it, they were out of a job. They didn't have a profession anymore because they had had injuries. So they couldn't go back and do what they wanted, wanted to. So was kind of a

Speaker:

depressive scene, if you will. Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes. And you know, they didn't have, you know, a good relationship or it was on the rocks. Yeah. It was rocky and they felt like their life was done, like I'm done, but on service they

Speaker:

had this big family and stuff and, you know, raised in the upper middle class environment and whatever else. I wanna jump back to your story before we get sidetracked by the mm-hmm. Kind of the trauma of this moment, but, so you. Go off to college and study psychology working toward, or maybe psychology, something else. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I was psychology. I was, I'm the first generation college graduate.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm the oddball. So like outta my family, I'm like the black sheep of the family on the opposite side because you know, my parents, they, they were all came from working class. Yeah. You know, which is fine. Yeah. Which is great. But I was just, the Andre one, I always wanted to do something different. Just be outside of the box kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and you know, my parents were, you know, this is the hands you've been dealt. Just enjoy it. Just deal with it. Yeah. And I'm just like, Nope, I don't think so. You can get a

Speaker:

good job at King Sos and Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with that. Whatever. Yeah, it's fine. It provided

Speaker 2:

for a family. Sure. And you know, it did, it did fine. But I always just wanted something different, you know, I just wanted like. I just wanted to explore more and be more. Yeah. And nothing against what they did. They did an amazing job. Sure. With what they had generations before I did the same thing. Um, but I wanted to go to school because when I was in school, I was a good student. And all my peers, you know, I was competing with my peers. They were all going to college. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you know, my mind, they can go to college. Well, I can go to college. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I'm just gonna get a scholarship or I'm just gonna work for it, which I did. I had a scholarship the first three years, and then I just worked my way through it and were

Speaker:

Did you move away for school?

Speaker 2:

I went to Wyoming in Laramie. Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah, you mentioned that earlier. So yes. Not too far away, not too far away. Didn't get home to Colorado Springs in four hours or so.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't bad. Less three hours than that. Less of the

Speaker:

time probably.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Without the traffic. Right. Like nowadays, right? Yeah.

Speaker:

Four hours now. Three hours then.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Oh,

Speaker:

what was it like? Uh, actually it's not, it's a lot more windy and cold. Oh my gosh. In Laramie, yes. But otherwise, uh, culturally it's not. Probably too far off. I don't know. What was that like?

Speaker 2:

It was different. And actually I got married before I went to, oh wow. I got married at 20. Okay. And was, you know, high school sweetheart. He was 19. I just turned 20. We got married and went to Wyoming. We had in-state tuition.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because his parents graduated from University of Wyoming. So we got in-state tuition. So he was

Speaker:

your ticket to, uh, in-state tuition?

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker:

And what's his name? Or is are you not married anymore? We're not married anymore, no. Well, it, it doesn't really matter. We were for 10 years. Okay, that's cool then. And then we

Speaker 2:

separated. But going to Wyoming was, it was such a culture shock to me.'cause because one, it was so windy and it was like tumbleweeds everywhere. Right. And we were so poor'cause we were both putting ourselves through school. Mm-hmm. And, but the beautiful part is we were in married housing, so we had other couples. And so we would come community there come we would combine, you know, food like, hey, we have some hamburger and the neighbors would, I got fruit, you know, or I got veggies and we'd make something, right? Yeah. So it was a good community that way, which was great'cause we're all working part-time jobs and going to school and that kind of thing. So,

Speaker:

and then you graduated and get right into the field. Private practice kind of therapy stuff or,

Speaker 2:

so yeah, I graduated and actually when I graduated, we were in Nebraska at the time'cause the then husband had a, had a job at the parochial school in Nebraska, North Carolina, Nebraska. Oh, parochial school. So he was.

Speaker:

He was, is that when you're trying to become a preacher? He was a,

Speaker 2:

he was a Catholic, uh, he was a math teacher

Speaker:

for the Oh, okay. A Catholic school. For a Catholic school. Right. Yeah. I couldn't quite remember what parochial means, but yeah. Got it. Right. And then I was

Speaker 2:

a religious ed director for the Catholic church. Interesting.

Speaker:

And that's your, was that your background historically as well then? I, I'm born and raised, raised Catholic. Okay. But

Speaker 2:

I couldn't get the degree, I couldn't get the job at the time for my degree. So like I'll just work for the church. Gotcha. So, yeah. Yeah. And being married Hispanic, I always like our focus, you know, at the time was, you know, support the husband, whatever he wants to do because that ultimately he'll be benefiting the whole family. Yeah. So I kind of forwent my, my goals to pursue my education. Yeah. To support him for his, and I was still doing great, you know, I was still a provider as well. Yeah. We both worked a hundred percent.

Speaker:

And what town in Nebraska?

Speaker 2:

North Platte.

Speaker:

Okay. Interesting kind of place to be. Uh, not sure it's better than Laramie. Probably not.

Speaker 2:

It was a culture shock too, because, uh. For me, you know, the first day of of my job, I was outside the church greeting people. And you know, they said to me, who do you belong to? And I thought, I don't belong to anybody. What do you mean? And they said, well, do you have family here? And I said, no. Like, well, you don't belong here.

Speaker 3:

Oh.

Speaker 2:

So that was, that was initiation the first day.

Speaker 4:

Interesting.

Speaker 2:

Um, but it was interesting because I actually worked with a family with three generations. I worked with a granddaughter, the daughter and the grandma. Okay. For the different things that I did there.'cause I worked for the church, I worked for, um, the school system and then also a nonprofit at the time. So it was interesting to work with three different women in the same family.

Speaker:

Yeah. I can only imagine broad based experience. And did you guys have children in those? No. Early marriage. You don't have kids now? No. Still. Um, and so like, take me to the next kind of pivotal chapter. It seems like it's gotta be coming up close when you're

Speaker 2:

Yes. So graduated and then. Was in Nebraska, you know, uh, starting our careers. We both graduated college and then we just decided it's not gonna work. We just kind of grew apart. So then we separated. I moved back to Colorado. He moved back to Colorado at the time too. Then we got divorced and, and then I just started doing, you know, other work, you know, other work. At the time I worked for, um, a MI, at the time it was for

Speaker:

Oh, you were a corporate trainer or something?

Speaker 2:

I was, yeah. So I was a corporate trainer as well. So, yeah, so that was interesting. And then, um, we got divorced and then my moved to Florida with a. A guy I met who was also going through divorce at the time.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Like trauma bonding. Don't recommend that. Don't do

Speaker:

that. This was your, uh, uh, a midlife crisis kind of time. Early. Exactly. Early midlife crisis.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. So, uh, then fiance, we moved to Florida. His mom was out there by herself. That's why we moved to Florida. And when we were out there, that's when my brother Jeff completed suicide. Mm. And I was just devastated. Was he the oldest or the youngest? He's the oldest. Oldest. And I was just heartbroken. So I didn't get to see him before we left. We were supposed to have dinner with him before we moved to Florida. And he got in a, a argument with his wife and then he just left. And then we moved. So I never got to see him before he passed. And then, um, my sister-in-law passed and then my second brother Greg passed. So they were like right back to back. The three of them. All by suicide? No sister-in-law. The brothers were suicide. The sister-in-law was not.

Speaker:

Yeah. Um, like was there. Maybe it's none of my business. But was there like, like trauma in their past that they never did discover or that came

Speaker 2:

on later? I think for Jeff, the oldest one. Yeah. Um, I think for him, the substance abuse for all three of them. Okay. They were all alcoholics. Okay. Uh, had done other drugs as well, and it was just a coping mechanism. Now what I know, what is that? Just an avoidance of real life kind of thing isn't avoid of dealing with it because they didn't have the skillset. And especially Hispanic, you don't see a counselor, you don't tell anybody what's happening. Right. You yeah. You, you shut it down. You don't even tell the family about it. Right. So all of that is an internalizing. So, and then for Jeff, he was doing that since he was 19.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So what the root cause was, I don't know. I mean, he never opened, none of them opened up. But those

Speaker:

cultures also don't really have a higher rate of. Suicides or challenges and stuff. Then the cultures in, call it Seattle, where everybody goes to a counselor if they, you know, got offended by the Starbucks barista for some reason or whatever. I'm not saying it's a little bit exaggeration, but

Speaker 2:

the family is, you know, the bond. Right, right. So they, they'll take care of their own kind of thing.

Speaker:

Yeah. But I guess in, at least in their circumstance, they didn't feel comfortable gonna, anybody really, very well,

Speaker 2:

they, they didn't wanna burden. Yeah. You know, the, the family kind of thing. Yeah. So, you know, like I said before, you know, when Jeff, when he did finally complete it, it was. He was rock bottom. Like he was like, I'm done. I'm not gonna do anything else. Like he, his dream was to be a chef. He just wanted a food truck. Like he wasn't a grandiose dream, just so he just wanted a food truck. He was so amazing. He was so gifted with what he did. He would wake up in the morning with a flavor in his mouth and by the end of the day he created it and it was so delicious. And we're like, oh my gosh, you should have a restaurant. And you know, a lot of times I wish I would've been the oldest and he would've been the youngest. So I could have supported him in his dream to do that because he was so talented. The things he would come up with was just amazing. It was just golden. Right. He just didn't have the backing

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

The person behind him to get him to fulfill that, that dream and that goal. Unfortunately the women in his life didn't do that. Um, my mom didn't know how to do that. My parents know how to do that. Yeah. And so he was just like, flailing, I love this, but how do I make it come to fruition?

Speaker:

It's an interesting thing, uh, and you haven't quite said it, but it's a truth that I've observed the world and that. Like, some men are very self actuating. Mm-hmm. And others really require what, sometimes it's a spouse. Mm-hmm. Sometimes it's having kids and then they become really actuating, you know, they Right. Um, like I, I'm a, I'm a little bit of a whimsical guy, you know, I work hard, but not like the hardest, and part of it is because Jill and I don't have any kids, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, we don't have a ton of stuff for, to provide for, and I don't Right. I live modestly, it doesn't require a gigantic income, but if I had six ankle biters, you know, I'd probably work harder.

Speaker 2:

Right.'cause you have a lot of mouth to feed.

Speaker:

Exactly. And what's that motivation? And, and so different folks are motivated by different things. And anyway, I digress a little bit, but,

Speaker 2:

but that makes sense. Right. And so, and you know, that's the thing too, is like he wasn't able to. Make money out of his dream. And when he would cook. Yeah. Right. And he would start to do, he would rent like a, a food truck for the festivals, that kind of thing. Like man, two Springs mm-hmm. And Ultra City and, you know, those kind of things. Which he loved. He absolutely loved it. But again, he didn't have somebody to support him through that and like do like the, that administrative part of that. Like, nobody likes that. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But he didn't have somebody to help him. He just wanted to do the cooking, which I get that, I wanna just do my part too. But there's the other piece of it. Right, right. Yeah.

Speaker:

You try to, I mean, a little bit you're passing and like, you didn't find that, but also either you gotta find that or be that,

Speaker 2:

or be that to

Speaker:

some extent, figure it out. You never really gave himself to that effort too much. Sounds like. Yeah. So that, did that, that's what set off your, your journey into kind of new field of study or not for a while.

Speaker 2:

So, not initially, because when he, when he passed, it was devastating. Like everybody's world. Yeah. Just stopped. Right. And so. You know, and I was in Florida at the time, so I came back for the funeral and then my, sorry about that bug on your That's okay. Microphone. I just don't wanna swallow it.

Speaker:

I got one. He won't bother you.

Speaker 2:

Um, and so then I came back for the funeral and then my other brother, Greg passed not too long ago that, and he was so devastated because Jeff, my oldest brother, was his protector, and here his protector was gone and then his wife died and she took care of everything and he was just lost. He didn't know what to do. He didn't have his protector brother anymore. His wife had passed. He didn't know what to do. Did they have kids? No. Kids. Okay. But I mean, so then even more sad story if he did. Well, Jeff did. Jeff had four kids. Yeah. Oh my. So yeah, he had two sons and two daughters. And that devastating.

Speaker 3:

Sure.

Speaker 2:

Um, yeah. The repercussions, the consequences major for, for those four especially. And then, and then Greg passed and then you, then there was the gap. And I moved back from Florida to Colorado because my parents were just devastated. Like, you have to come back. You have to, you're too far away. Yeah. So I did move back to, uh, from Florida, plus it turns

Speaker:

out that dude was pretty douchey after all.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. That, that was a good thing to move back.

Speaker:

Sorry.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I was a toxic, you know, narcissistic alcoholic relationship to, you know, once I get through my things, like, oh yeah, that was a good thing to, that was 10 years. So that was plenty. Um, so I moved back. I was, worked for, uh, Avago Technologies, which is spinoff of hp. Okay. Yeah. So I came back as a manager and then I was working as, as, uh, I would do doc editing, and then I was their sole trainer. So then I became, you know, the training coordinator, that kind of thing. Yeah. So I was, that's where my heart and soul is anyway, is to teach people skills that they can do amazing things in the world. Right. So then they can be self-sufficient and that kind of thing. Yeah. So, um, that's what I was doing and then my other brother passed. Arnold or Stasio is his friend him.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And he died in 2017. And so then after that my mom and my dad just kind of gave up. And so my mom died 19, my dad right after in 20.

Speaker 3:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

And then it was like full-blown COVID, right. 20 passed. Yeah. It was just like, oh my gosh. Like my suddenly my entire family island died almost. And then I got laid off Okay. From my 17 year career that I thought was my forever home. Um, so my dad died and then I got laid off and the day of his funeral was my last day at the job.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And I was just devastated. I was like, oh my gosh, the world shut down. You know? I had no family, no career, no purpose, no boyfriend. And I was like, oh my God, I get it. Wow. What a lonely. I totally get it. And so time that

Speaker:

had to have been,

Speaker 2:

it was horrible because especially Were you living

Speaker:

here in northern Colorado at the time?

Speaker 2:

I was in Tim where I am now.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Um, and I just remember like my dark night of the soul. There was one day, you know, I just buried my dad. Everything was done. I had no purpose. No. Uh, responsibility or anything. And I'm like, I didn't wanna be a, I didn't wanna be around either. Like, I totally get it. Yeah. So I went to the liquor store and I got a big thing of moonshine, cherry moonshine. I love cherries. I had never had moonshine before.

Speaker 4:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And then Cherry fresh got like, Hmm, that sounds refreshing. It's summertime. You know, I made a nice, you know, Tumblr of it, drank it, and it was probably like 10 o'clock in the morning, completely passed out. And all the windows and doors are open. And I wake up, and the reason I wake up is because in my head, my mom is yelling at me. You know, Becky wake up, my dad, he thought, wake up. And then my grandpa, Becky, I had this really deep voice,

Speaker 4:

and

Speaker 2:

I'm like, what the hell? So I wake up and I'm like, why are these dead people screaming at me? Right? Like, boom, boom, boom. They've never done that before. And I wake up and it's pitch black in my house. The windows are all open, the doors are open, the breeze is coming in and dead people are screaming at me. And I'm like, oh my God, I totally get it. I totally get why my brothers did that. Hmm. I had no career. No purpose. Yeah. No job, no family. You were feeling about that place. No boyfriend. I was, and then the world shut down. So it was on that, on top of it. Right. And so I was devastated and I totally, now it's like, oh my gosh, I totally get why they did what they did and it was so compassion for them. Yeah. In that moment. Yeah. It's like, I totally get it. Yeah. I could do the same thing right now. Yeah. And who would care? Yeah. Like I have zero responsibilities. I just got let go from a 17 year career. Like I was nothing. And I built that, you know, whole training department. And I was like, wow, I could totally just do that now. It wouldn't even matter, but I'm too ornery, right? So I'm like, there's the nephews and nieces, right? So I was thinking, yeah, this story cannot end like that, where all the siblings complete suicide. Like that cannot be our story. And so I just dug deep and said, Nope, this ends with me. And so then I just, I just, you know, tossed all the alcohol I had down the drain and said, Nope, I'm gonna change this. I'm gonna make this. And you

Speaker:

find a. Therapist or a counselor or something that helped you?

Speaker 2:

It was COVID

Speaker:

through,

Speaker 2:

so I just actually went online.'cause everybody was online then, of course.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Nobody was in person at the time. Yeah. And I went to back to school to be a rapid transformational therapist by Marissa Pier.'cause I had, I had taken some classes from her before. Okay. She's part of Mindvalley and I had met her in person and so I'm like, no, I'm gonna go back into the mental health field, but I'm gonna do it so you get to the root cause of it because that's ridiculous. Like this cannot happen anymore. And so I was gonna do the deep dive and I did. So then I went back to school. And so it took six months to be certified as a rapid transformational therapist and then another six months to be

Speaker:

aless life coach.'cause of your prior experience and whatever, uh, work experience and probably even your corporate training time allow exactly for such a kind of a rapid.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was

Speaker:

advancement into that new area.

Speaker 2:

It was so amazing. I was so blessed to have, it was basically global. All of us were from around the world being certified together at the same time.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And then, you know, before we graduated, we had a week intensive in person in la so we got to see some of our peers, or a hundred of us in person getting certified live with Marissa and her, her top team. And, you know, I was Does she have a

Speaker:

book or something that we should, she's

Speaker 2:

got, she's got lots of books. Okay. Um, and she's global. Marissa Pierre. Okay. Rapid transformational therapy. P-I-E-P-E-E-R.

Speaker:

Okay. Just like that. And

Speaker 2:

she's global. She's around the world.

Speaker:

She's your, uh, inspiration in that space, if you will. Absolutely. And had she been so already before or was she

Speaker 2:

I found her after my brother. Arm passed. Okay. So he was the last brother. And so I was like, I have to do something with this time. Right. That's productive. Yep. Because I didn't wanna fall down that path. Think.

Speaker:

But you were still focused on your career and stuff at the time then? I was. Absolutely. It was in my career. Bing ba boom. And are you glad you got laid off?

Speaker 2:

That's a good question. Yeah. Because I'm helping people. Yes. Yeah. Every day when I'm helping somebody. Absolutely. A thousand percent. Yes. Um, I would've rather it been my choice than to someone say, oh, here you go.

Speaker:

Yeah. But would you have

Speaker 2:

Eventually I would've because it was changing so much. Okay. You were already

Speaker:

working toward that a little bit.

Speaker 2:

It was changing so much. Right. I mean, the way I did training with my partner at the time, we did a lot of visual aids. We had a lot of fun teaching people, because when you're having fun, you learn fast. Yeah, right. Like little kids. True. The littles learn so quick because they're having fun. Well, we're like, adults have fun. They learn fast. Change the scene a

Speaker:

little bit. Yeah. So we

Speaker 2:

did that. Right. And so. Eventually, yes, I would've left. I would've liked to have done it on my terms, but not theirs. Yeah. But it caused you a lot of

Speaker:

financial havoc and et cetera. I'm sure.

Speaker 2:

I mean, luckily I had a severance package, so that was nice. Okay. So I had, I had the summer, I had a cushion for a while.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

To figure things out and just, and then the start, the grieving process, right. Because I had six family members that were dead, like my grandpa who had raised me, my mom, my dad, and my three brothers. So I had, and I hadn't, you know, even started that grief process for any of them. Yeah. So it was just devastating. And then to lose the career on top of it, and then COVID. So it's like boom, boom, boom. Like, let's just, just just put more stuff on, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like I was, it was hard to breathe initially, so that, that summer was ugly. It was a dark summer, I'll put it that way.

Speaker:

Yeah, I'm sure.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And you've had a lot of growth since then it seems. Exactly.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. So then, you know. When I initially went back to I, I initially went back to work and I was a manager for King Soopers.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Um, and then I was a manager for Bobo's Bakery. And then I realized I don't wanna do that anymore. I wanna be, I don't wanna be responsible for people Yeah. Anymore, I want to help people. Right. So I'm gonna go back in the wellness field.

Speaker:

So as a business groups kind of leader kind of guy in my local think tank role, I think about your business model as being, um, very useful, but also maybe challenging because if you're only meeting people for one to three sessions and then you're sending'em out the door, like you better charge a lot or be able to find them without spending too much money. Otherwise, you're gonna spend more money finding people that wanna be your customers than you are gonna be collecting from those short term customers.

Speaker 2:

That's so true. Um, but it's still worth it to me because. That was a bug. Sorry, I just a, we've got a boxell bug

Speaker:

invasion in the loco think tank, uh, region right now.

Speaker 2:

That's so funny. Um, was when I went into it, I really wanted people to not suffer any longer than they already had. Yeah. Because of the experience with my brothers. Right. And I had two cousins that also had completed suicide before they did.

Speaker 4:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, this has to stop. And so what, what a family

Speaker:

heritage, what terrible. I know. And it's

Speaker 2:

on both sides. My mom's side and my dad's side. And so, so for me going in a hundred percent was I wanna get people out of where their pain is as fast as possible for long term. So that was my a hundred percent my focus. And then once I've started to do that, now it's my fourth year and I'm like, wow, that's a lot of work. I mean, that was the design of it. Yeah. I want people out of Yep. Yep. You know, but now you're right. Now I'm always, where's my next client? Right.

Speaker:

Kind of. Yeah. Um, I was thinking to myself that maybe advertising to existing therapists is almost. Like, Hey, let me help get your clients unstuck.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Just for a

Speaker:

few sessions with her,'cause Absolutely. You can probably, I'm sure you can charge more. I mean, you got this two hour long hypnosis session and you're charging more than the typical, Hey, let's talk about your feelings for an hour.

Speaker 2:

Right. But I see them one to three times, or they see them for months and years. Right. So it's different, but I am like really getting into the deep, you know, nitty gritty of it where they never even touch it.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

So, I mean, price wise it's still not crazy. Expensive.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

For what they, for what they get per

Speaker:

hour. You don't even charge twice as much. No. Any, and hopefully you're moving'em a lot faster.

Speaker 2:

Plus, and then I do a lot of research too. So I don't like my, my feed does not include the research that I put into it After the, after the session? Yeah. The two hour session, they get their personalized audio that's there's for a lifetime. I check in with them 48 hours after to make sure how are you doing? First and foremost. Yeah. How is the audio doing for you 10 days later and then 21 days later. So all of that is combined into their fee. And then after the 21 days, then we revisit. Would you like to work on something different? Mm-hmm. And if they choose to do so, then we go back in and we do another session.

Speaker 4:

Mm.

Speaker 2:

Or I also do emotional freedom technique. So that's been very powerful.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Which is great to take people out of, you know, fight or flight mode, para, you know, sympathetic, put them back into parasympathetic. Okay. So that way they can rationalize that blood goes back into their prefrontal cortex, so then they can cognitively think through things, make good sound decisions, that kind of thing.

Speaker:

So even folks that you help with your rapid transformation element or whatever, you might have some adjacent services. Yes. So they're not lost forever kind of thing, but Exactly. But it continues to be the case that you don't really wanna be the maintenance supervisor, you're more the breakthrough. Empower or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And so the beautiful part is something I, that's been on my heart for a couple years was creating a healing circle. Because once somebody starts the healing process, they wanna keep going. Right? And it's not gonna be all just me. So what I've done this year, I'm so proud to be a part of, I created a healing circle. So we started with, uh, a naturopathic doctor, Dr. Danny Dowling. We started with him. And then the cl, we had two clients go through this. And then the second person was Karen Cornick. She's uh, an RN and nutritionist. Then they saw me for rapid transformational therapy and they saw Derek Ivy for reiki. So they're cleansing things out. Yeah. And then they saw me again for emotional freedom technique. And they saw Lance Duby for emotional as well. Another emotional freedom technique as well. It's a little bit different. And then they had the option to see our, our psychic medium, Shane Smith. Okay. And so he's amazing. You gotta

Speaker:

put the disclaimer optional. Uh, well,'cause not everybody reading, you

Speaker 2:

know, and if they haven't had somebody that's passed, I've

Speaker:

got a very long lifeline I think I've seen before, but I That's great. About how much I know about

Speaker 2:

that. And then our, our last person that they saw was Alex Weyland. And so he does amazing work too. He like cleanses what is stuck in the body out. So he does rol thing, massage and roster stretch. And so he has other modalities as well. So our, we had two beta clients.

Speaker:

I've had a roster stretch before. It was pretty

Speaker 2:

nice. Oh my. It's amazing. That's a great release, right? It's so amazing. So the, all of us practitioners, so we had two beta clients go through there. All of us. And you know, how, how they were at the beginning to how they were at the very end. I mean, they quantum leaped, their lives were amazing. They had, and they hadn't tried our modalities before, but they were both open to it. And they were both, you know, at the, in a sense, beginning of life, you know, now I, another person was. Retired, but they're both thinking, what do I do with my life now? Hmm. What is my purpose now? Hmm. One's at the beginning, one's at this seasoned what? And they're asking the same thing. Mm-hmm. So that's why I picked the two that I did and what they were able to accomplish in their own lives and are continuing to do so is just amazing.

Speaker:

Well, I think that's one of the, if you can spark curiosity and passion. Yes. Which sometimes comes with getting beyond, whatever's holding you back from that, you know? Right. And so the no fear thing,

Speaker 2:

the referral, so I, you mentioned, you know, partner with other people. Absolutely. So I have the healing circle. Yeah. Plus I partner with the counselors because again, they're seeing people for months and years and they're still like, oh my gosh. Right. Why are we not getting past

Speaker:

this? Well, that's the economic disincentive a little bit is like, but if they send'em to you for a couple sessions, what if they don't need me anymore?

Speaker 2:

Well, they still go back to them'cause they're just kind of used to it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

They're just, it's like a, you know, it's a habit. It's a habit and it good habit. Right. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.

Speaker 3:

No, agreed.

Speaker 2:

But ideally you want to get to a point where. You cut those purse strings. Right. At least you're not stuck.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, you can, you have what you need to have.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Um,'cause I wanna enable people to have the skills and then move on with your life. Like, get to the next level. Keep going. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker:

yeah. You know, it shouldn't be a badge of honor how many counseling sessions you've had every year.

Speaker 2:

No. And it shouldn't be a crutch, you know, and it's, yeah. Once you've healed, keep going.

Speaker:

Right, exactly. Uh, both can be true. Like, it's also not a shameful thing to go see a counselor, but also it isn't like, uh, a kudos. I've been seeing a counselor so much, I'm fixed. Well, a lot of people never really make much progress, you know? And so

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And, and so for my story by itself, I mean, I did, of course, I always, I was, went through the training, so I've been hypnotized. A lot kind of thing. And I'd, I'd really make some big changes and shifts too. But even having that said, there was still something for my own life that was, there was still something missing.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

Even with all of that. And for me, the big thing that I didn't realize was because being raised in a family, you know, of alcoholics and addiction, I took that on myself even though I wasn't addicted to those things. I, I'm a para alcoholic, so just living in a household with that, I'm a para alcoholic, just like you have secondary smoke from smokers.

Speaker 3:

Sure.

Speaker 2:

Which I have too. I had that as well. So the key thing that made a big shift for me and my healing was going through adult children of alcoholics last year. Mm-hmm. And then the loving parent guidebook.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

That was huge. That was the biggest shift for me. It was changing it.'cause they have, you know, a laundry list of traits. There's 14 traits. And I looked at it and I was every one of them and I was like, oh my gosh. I, I'm all of these things. Yeah. You know, it's devastating, but then it's like, oh my gosh, I'm all these things. I belong here. This is the missing piece for my healing journey. So I was so fortunate to find a sponsor that was like, Hey, uh, this is what I wanna do. Do you wanna do it with me? And like, absolutely. Let's do it. And so we, last year, both of us did the deep dive of the 12 Steps of Adult Children of Alcoholics, and then the Loving Parent Guidebook in a year, which is really aggressive. I don't recommend that. Okay. Don't, it's not a race. Yeah. Don't you have to go, you don't have to go fast. But for me, I, I definitely needed to move that dial fast. The

Speaker:

loving parent guidebook.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Is that to

Speaker:

help you become a loving parent

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. To yourself. Oh. Because when you're in a situation, a household where you don't have a loving parent and not to be, you know, blaming anybody. They didn't have it either. Like my parents didn't have it, their parents didn't have it, and so each generation gets less and less. So by the time I came around, there wasn't much left. And it's not to place blame on anybody because they didn't have it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So doing the 12 steps gives you the reason of why you do or didn't do things, why your family did or didn't do things. Sure. It's the whys. And then the Loving Parent guidebook, it teaches you how to be your own loving parent, which is amazing because I have no clue what is a loving parent. I didn't have one. So going through that teaches you how to be your own loving parent, because now my inner child and my inner teen still need that, that guidance and that help and that love.

Speaker 4:

Okay? It's

Speaker 2:

still in there. All of us still have our own little person inside of us. And if we were in abusive, I just let

Speaker:

mine shine through to the surface generally.

Speaker 2:

And that's great, right? We wanna play so when you have adults, because some adults are just so serious. And I was that too. I was totally that. I'm so serious. I'm an adult. Oh my God. Let that go. Like your inner child needs to play, right? Your inner teenager needs to dance. Have fun. I have

Speaker:

a, uh, I have an ODELLS onesie, um, that I normally change into when I get home from work.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. Is it a it's a total onesie. Oh, it's

Speaker:

a total onesie with a hood and four pockets. Oh my gosh. Two zipper pockets.

Speaker 2:

I love that.

Speaker:

Um, and, uh. I bought one for myself and each of my three siblings for Christmas a couple years ago. And, uh, I

Speaker 2:

wanna see that picture. It

Speaker:

is a pretty good picture. Um, but the story I wanted to share is that, um, my wife and I have been hosting this exchange student, Sarah, uh, for almost, gosh, a little more two months now. Um, and she'll move back at the end of December and whatever. Uh, but she was telling me the other day that, that she had a, a dream where her dad was wearing a onesie and she was like, oh, well that's completely adorable for, for a middle aged man to wear a onesie. And I was like, sweet. I'm making progress on my cultural revolution. Yes. Of bringing the onesie back into middle aged man, uh, utility.

Speaker 2:

And that's just the big game. I mean, not even

Speaker:

back into, I'm never not sure it's ever actually been into middle aged man utility, but it's. For those out there listening. Get yourself a onesie. You get a onesie. Will not regret it.

Speaker 2:

I don't have one yet, but I saw they have, you know, in Yeah, some of the stores, they have the Christmas stuff coming in and now so the Grinch, they have a onesie for the Grinch

Speaker:

onesie. Yeah, we're it all season.

Speaker 2:

I'm totally gonna get one of those. I love the Grinch, so my dad and I used to watch that together. So good memory.

Speaker:

I'm gonna call for a short break and then we'll come back here and do some more fun stuff.

Speaker 2:

That's great. Thank you.

Speaker:

Cheers. And we're back. All right, thanks. That was a very, uh, pleasant bathroom break for you, for me, for you. Me too. It was great. Thank you. Yes. You know, um. And, uh, when we left, we were kind of in the kind of midst of kind of that, that dark period and thinking a lot about our thoughts around suicide and how it affected you, but also how it affects everybody. And so, especially for the sake of listeners, like what is like active suicide prevention, how do you recognize signs? I'm sure this is something that you've probably put. Hundreds of hours into now, both, uh, in like coursework, but also just reading books and whatever else, whatever you could learn about it. I, I'm, I'm just guessing based on your personality and your journey.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And so, especially with my own journey with it kind of thing, right? Yeah. I have my own dark night of the soul. So you, there's some key things, right? So definitely you wanna be in community. We're not meant to be alone.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Whatever brings you joy and happiness, do it. Whether it's you make money at it or you have it as a side gig or as a hobby, whatever fills your cup up, what fills your soul. Make sure you do it. It doesn't matter what it is. I pulling

Speaker:

the feathers out of my chicken's wings,

Speaker 2:

then you do it. If that brings you joy, well

Speaker:

then they don't fly over my neighbor's fence and I don't have to go get'em. Gosh, I'm just kidding. I don't actually find any joy in it. I, I, and I just cut the end off of it with a scissor. Oh yeah. I

Speaker 2:

definitely don't wanna see you. That's kind of creepy, but it's

Speaker:

actually way less disturbing than actually pulling their feathers out. You're sicko like you told me to do it. That's gross. Anyway,

Speaker 2:

you totally digress. I'm being serious at here.

Speaker:

I'm seeing how capable you are of holding the point. So that was two.

Speaker 2:

Um, so again,

Speaker:

we could do it two again. You wanna be in

Speaker 2:

community? In community, in community. Like first and foremost speak about it. Yeah, talk about it. Yeah. You know, you see something in yourself or in somebody else. You see something, do something. Okay. Right. Being in community I, the Blue Zones, that's what they do. If someone is really depressed and they're suicidal, they bring them in community automatically.

Speaker:

The Blue Zones.

Speaker 2:

The blue zones, that's like the health and like in

Speaker:

Okay. In Europe. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Greece, that kind of thing. Gotcha, gotcha.

Speaker 2:

That's totally different.

Speaker:

Yeah. I'm not familiar with that concept, but that's okay.

Speaker 2:

So the community's huge exercise is huge. Mm-hmm. Because that's, anytime you exercise, the feel goods come out, all the endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, because that plus it's bringing the flow of your body, right? The blood is flowing in your body, that kind of thing. Yes.

Speaker:

And I do have that email started to introduce you to Mandy from Run Windsor.

Speaker 2:

Oh, wonderful.

Speaker:

Uh, I haven't done it yet, but both of you guys have that message as well of if you run a little bit, it's good for your head and good for your body.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And you learn things faster too. When you are physically doing something, you learn something so fast so you can habit stack. So that's why when you're listening to a podcast and you're walking or running or on a bicycle, oh really? You learn it faster.

Speaker:

Really? Mm-hmm. I did not know that.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker:

Is there number four?

Speaker 2:

Uh, yes. So. So seek help. Right. Seek help, go to, you know, call a counselor. Call myself.

Speaker:

Yeah. We say ask of your needs and share of your abundance around here.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. You know, if you're in part of a church community or somebody something. Right. Be part of a community. Ask somebody for help.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you know, a key thing too is to know your own rock bottom. Right.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

You know, when you're getting to that point, do something immediately.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

You know, calling a friend, calling a family member. Even just go out and be with people. When I was at my rock bottom, I couldn't,'cause it was COVID. You couldn't see people, you couldn't touch people in you. In

Speaker:

Wyoming. You weren't at Wyoming. Wyoming.

Speaker 2:

Not during my rock bottom. You should

Speaker:

have moved to Wyoming. Uh,'cause COVID wasn't really a thing there.

Speaker 2:

That would've been. Well, the wind alone is depressing. That was depressing by itself, the wind. Fair enough.

Speaker:

Um, okay. Fair.

Speaker 2:

Seek help. Seek help. Number one, seek help. Right? Yeah. Ask somebody. They have, you know, they have the.

Speaker:

And how do we, I don't know. Like I remember a time when I was like 12, 13 years old and I was, I hadn't hit a growth spurt yet. I was super dorky. I was, you know, and I actually remember saying kind of like, maybe after football season I'll be done, you know? Right. And I never got any deeper than that, you know, football season. And I wasn't depressed at the end of football season. And so I, I, that was like the one little kind of few months, couple months, few weeks period, where I actually had some suicidal thoughts mm-hmm. That I can recollect. Um, but aside from that, like, like is that your rock bottom? Like when you actually have a thought like that, or It depends on the person.

Speaker 2:

It depends on the person, you know. Yeah. I mean, I can handle a lot just because of my own story. You know, I have the capacity to really hold space for, for people, you know, that's one thing when I get a question where, you know, you have a total stranger come in your office. You're going to deep trauma, how do you do that?

Speaker 4:

Right?

Speaker 2:

Like you're a total stranger off the street, basically. Why would they do that? Yeah. And for me, that's a great question. That's a valid question. And for me, I just, what if they come into

Speaker:

your podcast studio?

Speaker 2:

Podcast studio would not be a place for it. We definitely wanna create that safe space. Yeah. Because if you create a safe space with somebody, you can talk about anything.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you hold that, you're neutral. You're not judging them, you're holding that safe space for them. A

Speaker:

compliment I have for you is that you are very, uh, disarming, I guess, like you're easy to talk to and not feel threatened by in any way or whatever. And I imagine that's probably one of your superpowers, even in your craft.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Yes. Thank you. It, that's taken a lot of me doing my work for years and years and continuing to do it.

Speaker:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

It's a, it's a lifelong process.

Speaker:

Yeah. Fair enough. Absolutely. Do you wanna play our ping pong ball challenge game?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I do. Is there anything else

Speaker:

you wanna share in that last segment? The main, the

Speaker 2:

most important part for me is for everybody to know that you are enough, you are worthy, you are lovable, and you matter just the way you are. You don't have to do or be anything. Just being here is your birthright and know that you matter.

Speaker:

Well, thanks for that. Absolutely. Um, I, I'm not quite ready to go to the ping pong balls now. Like you were, you were, do you have a, a church relationship still? Are you like,'cause that sounds like a very kind of Christian kind of a statement, right? Like, God created you just the way he wants you, so you don't have the right to kill yourself. Almost. Uh, have you maintained your faith or changed over the years?

Speaker 2:

I'm, I'm, I still own Catholic.

Speaker:

Okay. Yep.

Speaker 2:

Um, I don't go religiously got used to, yeah. After being a religious ed. Uh, but

Speaker:

that still informs your value, background all. Sure. My, my value like that, I.

Speaker 2:

I still go, you know, the typical Easter and Christmas, all the big ones, and occasionally all the big ones, and occasionally here and there, sprinkle in there, but I also go to Timberline too. Okay. Um, because when I, you know, my parents were alive, like, no, you have to only go to Catholic, which I. I didn't agree with that. As long as you believe in God or believe in something outside of yourself.

Speaker 4:

Yeah,

Speaker 2:

because it doesn't matter. As long as we believe in something, whether it's, you know, source God, spirit, something, there's something bigger than all of us, right? And so we all resonate with something different. And that doesn't matter. Just knowing that you're not alone, that there's something else out here helping me. For me that's so important because I know my faith is huge. Uh, St. Teresa's my patron saint, and she's been with me since I was a teenager. And that's a lot of reason why I'm still here today.'cause I would just call on her. And then for my family, they're all, you know, in heaven for me. And I call on them every single day and they come to me in different ways. Like, you know, I'll ask them something specific. Like for me, God is a feather. And if I'm really struggling, I'm like, God, I need to see a. Physical feather. And the next morning on my front porch, there was a feather right there at my, my and I hear talking about

Speaker:

pulling chicken feathers out.

Speaker 2:

Not that one,

Speaker:

that trauma inducing, hopefully.

Speaker 2:

No, no. But you know, it's so amazing because they don't, they don't leave. I mean, the relationship is still there. Just different.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I can't talk to them like I'm talking to you right now, but they're still in relationship. But I know they're always around me, you know, and I go into, like, when I'm doing a speaking arrangement, you know, I always spoke, you know, in front of the, the. The police last week, you know? Oh. And I was just like, wow. That was empowering to be in there. And they're all in there with me because they go, they go before me.'cause to be in a room full of, you know, placement and off, you know, in their uniforms is intimidating because of my history with my family. You know, I saw them in negative situations. Sure. But they were doing their jobs. Sure. They were doing what they're supposed to. But initially when you see a whole room from them, it's like,

Speaker 4:

yeah,

Speaker 2:

I'm here for a reason and a purpose and a, yeah. I barely imagine. Yeah. So, but I knew it went well, it was so amazing. Officer, you know, Dexter Rowe invited me to his meeting and it was just amazing. So, so grateful to him for the opportunity.

Speaker:

Well, thanks Officer Dexter.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker:

Okay, now grab three of those three. Yep. All righty. This is our random question challenge, just'cause. You know, I have a hard time coming up with good questions to ask sometimes during the course of the conversation.

Speaker 2:

I love, eight is the Infinity, so let's go with that one first. Oh, nice.

Speaker:

Uh, what music or artist reminds you most of your childhood, like music genre, particular artist, like tell me about this Spanish family. Uh,

Speaker 2:

actually the Gogos totally came to mind. The Gogos

Speaker:

that came outta left field for me, the Gogos.

Speaker 2:

My cousin Julie and I used to sing the Gogos to the little cassette player.

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, I still have that tape. Was it the

Speaker:

best where when the like. Like it started out it was like two little speakers and a cassette player in between. It was like this big. And then, yes, by the time I got to college in the early nineties, you had pretty big boombox, boom boxes and stuff. And then pretty soon you got like the evolution. Yeah. Anything of the boombox

Speaker 2:

and he is holding it. Oh yeah. A

Speaker:

detachable speakers and all that.

Speaker 2:

I totally have where there still

Speaker:

So the Go-Go's. Yep. I like it. I love that. Next, next question.

Speaker 2:

29.

Speaker:

29. What's the most surprising thing about running your own business? This is relatively, um, recent scenario, at least in his current context. And, and even you never really did develop as a private practice therapist like you kind of planned toward.

Speaker 2:

To me, the surprising family secret for

Speaker:

real. You're not gonna share

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker 2:

I'm not gonna share. All right. I'm gonna keep that one to myself. They can come see me for a free consult and then I'll share.

Speaker:

Okay. Alright. Come, come see. And you'll get a note card with a green chili recipe. Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

That, that's fair. I've made

Speaker:

it a few different ways and I did on my food trailer for a while, but I, I would say I've, I've definitely had much better green chili than I've made. Um, which for most things isn't necessarily true. Like I made a PLI one time and I was like, damn, I've never had poli as good as this. But it's never been true to the green chili. So

Speaker 2:

there's so much love in the green chili, though. You can definitely tell

Speaker:

it takes a long time to make it really, really right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you don't wanna rush it.

Speaker:

Well,

Speaker 2:

you definitely, it, it's, you definitely take your time with it and there's a lot of love in it when you, when it tastes amazing, you know, they put their effort into it. Fair enough.

Speaker:

Um, the Loko experience is the craziest experience. A little Spanish, no. Uh, Lako. Yes. Uh, the craziest experience that you're willing to describe to our listeners from your lifetime. Did you think about what that was gonna be ahead of time or you just wanted to let it be a surprise?

Speaker 2:

Totally be a surprise, like, craziest experience? It could be

Speaker:

a moment, a near death experience. It could be. I mean, we described some pretty crazy experience of the sequence of siblings suicide and. Cousins besides, but that like, I'd like to, to maybe zero in on something that,

Speaker 2:

something fun. I would say. Say when I

Speaker:

say something crazy that happened in your lifetime that

Speaker 2:

I'm thinking something fun. Hope so. I'm thinking of crazy fun things. I hope, I hope, I hope so. I, two things come to my mind. Actually. Hot balloon ride when I turned 30.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

I went on a hot balloon ride. I do something that scares me every single year and I'm afraid of heights. Okay. So that's why I did it. And it was amazing. I like it. Loved love, loved it. And then, um, parasailing over the ocean.

Speaker:

Mm. I have not done any. Oh. Actually I haven't done a hot, hot air balloon ride either. I was supposed to on my honeymoon.

Speaker 4:

Oh no. What happened? And

Speaker:

it was too windy like four days in a row. We got up at like five 30 in the morning and got ready to go and then the dude would call us and be like, sorry. Too windy.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you gotta make it happen. I still gotta make it happen. Maybe I should do it for my hours. It's amazing. For this

Speaker:

next year or, uh, or sometime soon.'cause I'm sure she would like it.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. It's so worth doing it. And it's not scary at all because you're just floating with the air and you can, it's as clear as you can think of. You're, you're flying over people. You see them down below and you can hear their conversations. You're totally dropping. Right.

Speaker:

You, it seems so quiet. It's solitude. Yes. Uh, peaceful. Yeah. I worry that I would like lose my stuff. Just kidding.

Speaker 2:

You wouldn't you? What? All the things that you think are not gonna happen. Yeah. So once you're there, it's just like, oh, this is so amazing. And you just take it all in and it's just, it's just, it's breathtaking because you're a part of the experience. You're part of the crew. Yeah. And then you're part of the crew taking it down. Yeah. Yeah. And then they usually do like a champagne toast and something special with it and that kind of thing. So

Speaker:

I think what I like about it is. Like, I've done whitewater rafting a bunch of times and you're part of the experience, right. But yes, but the river's so chaotic, right? And there's so many things that are outside of your control and stuff. You're

Speaker 2:

in the moment and you don't enjoy it because it's just so active. And

Speaker:

then the other thing that I do that's little bit like that, that you're experiencing together with the machine is motorcycling.

Speaker 4:

But

Speaker:

that's a very much a solo thing where you're like, okay, next corner, hit the apex. Accelerate. Oh, break, break, break, break, break. Okay. Accelerate, you know?

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker:

But so solo, but with a hot air balloon. It's got both that kind of quiet solitude, but also others involved.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah. And then when they're,

Speaker:

you know, with the flame going up and Right. Can you toast marshmallows in the flame or anything?

Speaker 2:

Uh, we didn't do that. Maybe they do it now. You can find in the right one. Maybe this was like way back in the day. So

Speaker:

you wanted to make kind of a, a sendoff, uh, comment. Yeah. The sendoff

Speaker 2:

is, you know, with, with Colorado being, you know, one of the top five with suicide in northern Colorado especially, is the highest in the state of Colorado.

Speaker 4:

Mm.

Speaker 2:

Definitely take care of yourself. Take care of those around you. Tell people that you love them, you care about them. And what I've made a, a habit of doing this is from Simon, Simon Sinek, if you follow him on social media a little bit, he actually had a situation where a friend reached out to him and was just texting, Hey, you wanna meet for dinner? How's things going? And was in crisis. And he was devastated because I didn't know you're in crisis. Why didn't you tell me? Well, I sent you a text. Hmm. Like these normal texts. So like, always say yes kind of. So always the key thing that I've been really encouraging is. The people in your circle when you're in crisis, just text or call and say, Hey, do you have eight minutes to talk?

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

It is proven scientifically, if anybody just calls, you can step out of a meeting. You can step out of anything for eight minutes. Sure. And just to connect with that person and say, Hey, I've got you. We may not be able to to solve it right now, but you're not alone. You're toge. We're together and you, you're gonna be okay. Right. And they can just talk with you, breathe with you. Yeah. Just connect with you. Just knowing that you have that makes all the difference. And it's just kinda like puts you back into the present moment and know that you're not alone and know that you have everything you need within you. Yeah. Just tap into yourself. Yeah. You know, breath work is huge. You know, ask for help. That's the bravest thing you can do.

Speaker:

You know, as I, as I reflect, I've, I've had a couple brushes with suicide in my own life and you know, I've seen Right. Every mm-hmm. And it almost feels like. People that have suicided themselves have on the average just as much going for them overall in life. Like they may be know a tough spot, they hit a rock bottom for them or whatever. But like I was thinking my, I had a friend in college that, that killed himself when I was probably 20 or something like that. And he was really the, he was the brother of a closer friend.

Speaker 4:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

And, but the dude was a stud, like he was, his athleticism was awesome. He was a baseball player in high school. Could have been in college probably if he tried harder and stuff. And, you know, and he, he, he did it'cause of, he, he had a pretty girlfriend, but then the girlfriend broke up with him'cause he was kind of a mess, you know, devastating, you know, and it was devastating to him and like the notion that he would just end that over that, uh, well, in the

Speaker 2:

moment they don't see it.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker 2:

You know, in reality this too shall pass. Whether it's bad or good, even the most amazing moment in the world. Yay. I'm so excited. Yeah, that passes too. The most horrific, devastating that passes, so everything is gonna pass.

Speaker:

That's probably the best piece of advice from this conversation is this too. Shall pass.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker:

Thanks for being here.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for this opportunity.

Speaker:

Cut. Speed.

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Curt Bear

Host